She’s back!

She is back home… ^^

Disaster day

Today was a disaster.

I went to print out pictures, because i wanted to start putting the notes all over my neighborhood. I went through 4 different shops, but my usb-stick didn’t work, so i had to come back home and then put everything to other usb-stick and go to the shop again… Then i realised that my printer ink is out, so i went to the city again to print out all those notes, but by that time all copy-shops were closed (german saturday, what should i expect?), so i spend half of the day running back and forth and didn’t get what i wanted. At least i had pictures in hand, so i went to my friend (his ink was out as well…) and wrote some notes with hand. One of them got messed up, two of them were good and i decided to print the rest of them at my friends place tomorrow, cause it took too much time (well i still have to learn which is not going at all). So, i had 2 notes after half of the day, that’s why i picked to local shops which i consider as good locations, because a lot of people could see my note.

We decided to take a look around my neighborhood again and it started raining… But we still kept looking for Tora, although i felt guilty in front of my friend, who was totally wet, but still looking for my kitty. And i’m really thankful. Sadly we didn’t find her, but some people saw us looking, some asked for my number in case she would come to them, so we broke the ice. We have a lot of punks here around who aren’t doing a lot, so it would be great to ask them and maybe offer a bit money, so they would be motivated and look for a cat, but on the other hand they also don’t care about such things… For instance, today we asked one if he saw something like my cat and he was nice and talked to us, but his friend came and made some jokes about asians, preparing food from lost cats and stuff, which wasn’t very nice.

The fact, that you can see at least 3 different notes every week in our neighborhood is true and that’s why i don’t wanna expect the best to happen, because i don’t want to disappoint, but i don’t think that my lack of hope or the fact that there are a lot cats missing out there would stop me from looking for her. But at such days as today i would just think that someone doesn’t want me to find Tora… I guess i forgot to mention that i got ill, so another problem goes into my pocket.

Anyway, going back to notes, i just have to write one thing that made me oversensitive again: in the evening i went to the shop, because i had to buy something to eat (i just simply forget to eat because all those problems) and on my way home i saw that someone already took my number from the note!!! Probably it was some cat lovers, who took my number in case they see Tora, but maybe it was someone, who saw her for real and now just trying to catch her… Both isn’t bad.

The food bowl by the way wasn’t empty this morning but still, half eaten, so there was something, maybe Tora again. But my friend advised i remove the bowl, because if it’s Tora that’s eating the food, she will know that there’s this food bowl all the time and it might be that she won’t come back to me, so it’s not there anymore. On one hand he’s probably right, but on the other, i feel bad, because she might come to eat and there’s nothing…

Shaya really misses her. She wants to play and i’m trying to keep her busy, but she’s used to her sister, so they would run around like crazy, they would fight and bite, and jump and do other catish stuff and now she’s all alone. I do like though that she’s more often lying right next to me and cuddling with me, but i want to see her happy. I hope Tora understands it and will come back home at least for Shaya…

This blog lets me put my hard thoughts from my chest and maybe someone who also lost a cat reads this and then he won’t feel that sad and alone… I’ve never lost a cat before, because i just didn’t have one, so now i know how hard it is. If i would keep all of this to myself i would just explode one day, so even if no one reads this, i still feel like doing the right thing. I hope, the day will come, when i can happily pronounce that Tora’s back home… I hope…

Where are you, my little one?..

Another try to get her back…

If you know anyone, who’s living in Leipzig, share it please!

There is a hope!

What i did first this morning was run to the balcony still almost naked to check on the cat’s bowl in the garden downstairs. I did that not because i was waiting for it to be empty (well maybe somewhere deep in my heart), i did it mostly because of the habit. Yesterday i was checking on it every 10 minutes but it remained full when i went to bed. But what i saw this morning made my heart bounce faster – it was empty! I’m still not sure, if there was Tora that ate all the food, because it could have been any other cat (although u won’t see here cats in the streets so easily) or even my neighbor’s dogs, but i don’t think they would allow them to eat from a cat bowl. Anyway, that gave me hope and strength not to give up.

Another good sign was my other cat Shaya. Well right now i avoid letting her out to the balcony, since she was there when Tora ran away and saw everything, so i don’t want her to run away as well, but when i’m there, checking on the garden and on the food bowl, she’s always with me. And today she was observing the garden next to ours so carefully and she was sniffing like a dog and even kinda wanted to jump down there. Our balcony is right next to that high fence that divides our garden and the next one, so my guess was, that Tora went to that garden or at least to that direction. I went outside and tried to look around, but sadly i didn’t see Tora. I will try to get inside that garden this evening and look around more closely, maybe she’s hiding somewhere.

Despite such unclear but still good news (the empty bowl and Shaya’s reaction), it’s really sad to look at Shaya. I think now she completely realised that Tora isn’t coming back. Her pain and sadness are so human! She was sitting on the window sill and looking through the window, but then her eyes got stuck somewhere at nothing and they were filled with sadness. When i called her, she kinda woke up, looked at me and then through the window again – cat’s pride – she wanted to show that nothing’s wrong, but i know my cat good enough to understand when something’s not going well. Then i told her that we’re going to look after Tora several times, she tried to fight her pride, but finally looked at me and then came to me and just slept. Yes, sleeping is all she’s doing lately. She’s not even eating properly, although Shaya was the one that could eat maybe the whole package of dry food! And Tora would always leave a little bit of her food to her sister… Shaya doesn’t play, doesn’t do any annoying stuff she used to do, so it’s even more silent in my flat as normally.

I have an exam on Monday and i haven’t learned a bit, because i just cannot concentrate, so probably i am goin to fail, but could anyone blame me? I don’t think so. But i will try to learn at least a little bit, i think Tora wouldn’t like me to fail at my exam.

This morning i wrote a note about Missing Cat. I am goin to print out some pictures later this evening and then i’m goin to put those notes all around this neighborhood! Friends are encouraging me and telling their stories when their cats came back after weeks and that’s nice and makes me stronger, but the problem is that i am goin to Japan in 18 days to do my internship and if she’s coming back, she won’t wait for me till 4th of october (when i’m coming back). Maybe she will wait several days, but not longer and then i will loose her for ever… Anyway, i have to avoid those kinda thoughts and think positive!

I will upload the note here as well and i am asking all people who are living in Connewitz, Leipzig, Germany, please, help me find her, cause she means a lot to me! Please tell everyone you know from that area, maybe we will find her. My heart is aching without Tora and when i see those gray rain clouds in the sky i am thinking about my poor cat somewhere where she has never been cold and scared… I hope she will find a place where she can hide from the rain…

I am waiting for you, my little naughty tiger… U_U

First 24 hours without Tora

24 hours passed after my Tora ran away. You may ask what’s that Tora? Well, she was one of my cat… Furthermore, she was a sister of my second cat (Shaya) and my best friend, she wasn’t just a cat. Both of them are everything to me and just one day ago i couldn’t imagine how it would be to live without them, but i wasn’t expecting them to run away. And now i need to face the fact she’s gone. I cannot stop my tears, nor can i avoid seeing her everywhere i turn, nor hearing her somewhere just beside me.

It’s pretty tough to loose something you love that much and i cannot completely accept this fact. And i don’t even want to. I still sense her somewhere near me and i am still waiting for her to come out from under the bed (although i checked million times) but actually i should say: i am waiting for her to come out of nowhere, because she’s not here anymore.

Probably this isn’t very good, but there’s no hope that she’s coming back. Maybe it’s because she isn’t used to that “wild” world outside since she’s a domestic cat and outside was the balcony for her, or maybe because my neighborhood is a little bit tricky for a little kitty. Besides i live in a place where you can see new notes about missing cats every week but you won’t see any cats running around, so there are a lot of “because”… Anyway, i put a bowl with some food in the garden and sprayed some Valerian (i heard cats like the smell) near the doors, in the garden and in the stairway. Sadly i cannot leave my window or doors open, because i am living on the second floor and there are no high trees at my balcony, so it wouldn’t help. Well, i am going to wait for a day more and if she isn’t coming back i am goin to put notes everywhere! On every tree and street sign, i will leave the notes in every bar and shop around my neighborhood, i will do everything i can.

Now i am still trying to calm down a little bit and try to sleep, but i know that Tora is somewhere out there and i cannot do anything but cry and wait. I am checking the balcony, the garden and my street constantly, but i haven’t seen her yet. Almost everyone told me that she’ll come back, but i’m afraid that’s not true…

I miss her… Shaya misses her as well… Please, Tora, please come back home…